Tommy
Cooper was more than a catchphrase, he had such an original approach.
It's often said that in his earliest days, Tommy Cooper was so nervous that he made unintentional mistakes, he soon saw that
if he could recreate these accidents then he would have people rolling in the aisles. In fact Tommy's earliest trick was with
a milk bottle. During the course of the trick he was supposed to turn it upside down, but when he did the trick, the milk
came pouring out along with the audiences laughter. That got Tommy Cooper thinking, "I can get applause through making tricks
go wrong - deliberately - always leave them laughing."
To get the most from these classic one liners, I suggest that you get into state, imagine that
fez hat. 'Just like that'.
* Went to
the paper shop - it had blown away.
* I went
to buy some camouflage trousers the other
day but I couldn't find any.
* I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing
me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
* Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound
marshmallow, and when I woke
up the pillow was
gone.
* Police arrested two kids yesterday,
one was
drinking battery acid, the other was eating
fireworks. They charged one and let the other one
off.
* A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The
doctor said, 'It's old age.
'The woman said, 'I want a
second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly
as well. '
* 'You know, somebody actually complimented me
on my driving today. They left a little note on the
windscreen, it said 'Parking
Fine. 'So that was nice.'
* A man walked into the doctor's,
The doctor said 'I
haven't seen you in a long time'
The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'
* A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt
my arm in several places'
The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'
* I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
* Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners
* 'So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked
it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?'
And a voice said, 'You are.'
* 'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said ' Is
that the local swimming baths?' He said ' It
depends where you're calling
from.'
* I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have
you got anything for wind'
, so he gave me a
kite.
* I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said,
'Go to Bournemouth, it's great
for 'flu.
So I went, and I got it.'
* I was in the attic the other day with the wife. Damp
and dusty.........but she's
great with the kids!
* So I rang up a local building firm,
I said 'I want a
skip outside my house'. He said 'I'm not stopping
you.'
'I became a member of The Secret Seven. It's so secret, I don't even know who the other six are... '
I went to the doctors with a jelly stuck in one ear and custard
in the other. The doctor asked, 'what seems to be the problem?' I said 'you have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.'
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.
A guy walks into
a pub with a lump of asphalt on his shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.
